To Not Think
by vickyxo.xo
Summary: Jace leaves Clary behind thinking he is her brother and has demon blood. Ten years later, he returns, to a very agnry Clary, things are said, and things are done.  When he returns he still thinks he has demon blood and is still Clary s brother.
1. Chapter 1

**I dont own this at all. The idea belongs to 777fallenangel777, its from a video off of youtube by this user. All characters though dont belong to me either, and only God knows how much I wish they did.**

**Anyways, this is about Jace thinking he has demon blood and still is Clary`s brother, he leaves her going off to kill Valentine. No one hears from him for ten years. **

**He comes back and still believes he has demon blood and is still in love with Clary. yadayadayda. :)**  
**Enjoy!**

The attic was cold, I could feel the wind coming through the cracks in the wall. The Institute was pretty old now. I let out a sigh causing the window by my mouth to fog up, I quickly wiped it away looking out watching as snow fell from the sky, and people walking down the street. He's been gone for ten years now. He hasn't called, or sent a letter to let us know if he was alive. I remember the day he left.

_He was standing by this exact window, the one in the attic and was looking out into the street as if he was in deep thought._

"_Jace?" I asked, taking a step towards him. "What's the matter?" his body tensed more when I spoke to him, but he never turned around._

"_I'm leaving Clary." he spoke finally. Still not looking at me._

"_What do you mean your leaving?" my voice cracking in word I spoke. He looked at me now, his expression blank._

"_You know why! I can't stand here and do nothing while that man," he paused taking a deep breath, "our father, is out there still alive. I'm leaving to go kill him." he said, trying to avoid eye contact with her._

"_What about the Lightwoods! What about me!" I screamed at him, tears rolling down my face. He shook his head, his eye brows scrunched up._

"_You know what I am Clary. I have demon blood, and I can't stand to be around you knowing I can't have you. I'm leaving to protect you." he said, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, while trying to convince me._

"_I don't care." I said, taking another step towards him, but he just took another step away from me._

"_I do." he whispered, eyes never looking at me. He then proceeded to walk past me, his shoulder slightly touching mine as he passed, sending a chill down my back. _

"_I'll be back someday Clary. I promise." and with that he was gone._

I could hear creaks in the floor as someone walked towards the attic. No one lived here anymore, the Lightwoods moved out after Max died, they moved somewhere, but they never told me where. I stayed though, I've been living in the Institute now for nine years, by myself.

The foot-steps finally stop, behind me. I don't bother to turn around.

"I go away for a while, and look what happens" said an awful familiar voice. I turn around immediately to be greeted with a tall man. His blond hair still curly, and stops just above his shoulders. His eyes are still a beautiful gold. He's a little taller it looks, and much more muscular, his face is the same, his cheeks bone a little more defined, but still the same. Before I could stop myself words started flowing from my mouth.

"What happened to you? Where have you been?"He shrugged, walking towards me. He was dressed in his shadow hunting gear. All black like always.

"I went traveling. India. Asia." he said, putting his arm around my waist. I put my hands against his chest pushing him away from me, I was furious.

"You're proud of yourself? You think this is fun?" I shouted at him, our eyes never leaving each others. "This… this isn't going to work." I mumbled to myself, pacing around the room. While Jace just stood where he was watching me.

I looked at him now. Fury still burning in my eyes."Do you know what my big goal has been? It's been to stop thinking! To not think! To not think that every time the phone rang, it was you! To not think that every piece of mail in my mailbox was from you! To not think that every person I see approaching was you!" I shouted at him, pouring my heart into every word I spoke, wanting him to know how heart broken I have been without him. He moved from his spot, and was now standing right in front of me, and if I wanted I could stand on my tippy toes and kiss him then and there.

"I've thought about you every bit as much as you've thought about me." he answered, his eyes still burning into mine. I almost believe him… Almost.

"I don't believe you." I mumbled, looking away from him, and walking towards the window, not wanting to look at him anymore, because every time I did it felt like my hear was breaking all over again.

"I think I was afraid to say this before...I love you." he said, his mouth right beside my ear, I could feel the closeness, the want pulling me towards him. But I couldn't give in, I wasn't going to give in.

"We could keep it a secret." he said after a few moments. I turned around facing him again. Shaking my head.

"We'd be living a lie. One we couldn't keep even if we wanted to." I told him, dread lacing my every word, and disappointment.

"I couldn't do that. Could you live like that?" I added, he seemed to regesture my words the bowed his head looking at the floor.

"No, your right. It would destroy us." he whispered after a few minutes.

Questions were chewing at me from the inside. I wanted answers. Answers that only he could give me.

"Why did you leave?" I asked. He looked at me, he was angry with my question.

"You have no idea what I'm going through! I have demon blood in me! This disease pumping through my veins, and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean! I'm a whole new level of freak! And I'm just trying to take this . . . this curse, and make something good out of it! Because I have to!" he yelled at me. Walking around the room, shouting everything around the room. I just stood there shock.

"I'm a monster Clary, I am nothing but evil." he said, quieter this time. He stopped moving and was now standing in front of my, looking down. I walked over to him, putting my hand under his chin so that he was looking at me now.

Gold starring into emerald green. "I know there's darkness in you. I know there is. But there's goodness in you too. And when I look into your eyes, that's what I see." I told him. His eyes locked with mine.

Then I told him something I have been craving for ten years now.

"Kiss me." I whispered, eyes never breaking from him.

I leaned forward, my lips almost to his. He was leaning down, his arms around my waist holding me closer to him.

I felt the electricity pulsing through us as we shared that kiss.

So much passion and want. The urgency was so powerful, but I didn't care, right now, right here, I needed Jace and he needed me.

When he pulled back I looked at him and smiled.

"I love you Jace." the words whispering through out the night.

**The link to the video will be on my profile if anyone wishes to see it.  
I suggest you do, because it is well put and had me in tears, anything that puts me into tears is required really amazing.**


	2. Chapter 2

H_**I got this story idea in my head, and I just really wanted your guys input on if I should do it or not.**_

_**I won't start it until i'm finished either "Changes to New Lives," or "Love the way it hurts."**_

_**The idea, I got was from the Lion King II, and yes I know why are you watching a kids movie, well it is a classic and I love the movie. **_

_**Anyways, heres sorta my plot. **_

There a two lands throughout Alicante.

One of the lands belonging to King Valentine, the other King Robert.

King Valentine is married to Queen Joeclyn, and have a beautiful daughter named Princess Clarissa.

King Robert has two children Isabelle and Alec, Jace Herondale is his adopted son who has trained from birth to be a killing machine, and to get revenge on Valentine, who killed Robert's wife Maryse.

_**Heres a small preview.**_

He looked back with so much regret, and so much sorrow. What my father said couldn't be true, it just couldn't but the cut along Jace's face tells me other wise.

Servants and Guards filled the castles foyer, my father standing in front of his trown, looking at Jace with a look of betrayl, and hate. The room is silent, waiting for what my father will say next. My eyes never left Jace, as he stared at me, begging me to understand. Then after moments a silent my father finally spoke.

"Exile." The servants and guards started shouting at Jace, telling him to leave and never come back, I looked at my father whos eyes still never left Jace.

"Father, please!" I begged holing onto his sleeve or dear life, begging him to look at me, but the Lady servants came over and held me back.

Jace looked at me father, then to me, bowing his head down in shame. He got on his black horse, giving me one last look, then made his way through the village where people threw food and stones at me. He got to the top of the hill looking down towards the castle, bowing his down once more in shame.

"No!" I screamed, ripping myself out of the ladies grasp and running towards the doors but the guards blocked it.

I collapsed to the groun in defeat, looking over towards the hill. Tears spilling over my face, and my heart breaking into millions of pieces.

He was gone.

_**So I hope you liked it, please review if you think I should make this story. **_

_**I would really like to, but I don't want to write it if no one will be interested, so please Review and let me know !**_


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